France French Frontiers: Exploring the Cultures of France and Her Neighbors

Each student has a unique and individual experience on their Experiment program. The following essay is a single glimpse into a program from one student's perspective.

Avril Coley

France (FRSD) 2008

On the Experiment this summer, I grew as a member of the world community in more ways than I thought would be possible. It was stressed to us before we went on our Experiments that we would be learning during our entire trip about the culture we would be immersed in, as well as the different cultures within the United States. However, I did not realize just how much knowledge I had gained, beyond what I could have ever found in a classroom, until I was back at home thinking about my experience. In a way, I underestimated just how much I could open myself up to a foreign culture and to people who I did not know. The bonds I created with the members of my group and with my host family made this experience amazing for me.

Departure day was quite an experience. At the airport while I stood with my family waiting to go to the gate, I looked around at the members of my group and we all seemed so different. I was the only person from New York City and the people in my group came from all over the United States. I could not help but wonder while I stood there eyeing everyone around me how I would feel spending so much of the next three weeks with people who I had never met before that day. I was a combination of excited, nervous and anxious. Finally, I kissed my family good bye and walked off with virtual strangers. By the end of the odd ice-breaker games, we began to open up to one another, a sign of how our group would develop in the next 24 hours. When I closed my eyes on the plane just after take off, I had no idea how much and how fast I would begin to feel a bond with the people around me.

The first day was the longest day I think any of us had ever experienced, because of the time difference. Even though it was an extended day for us, I don’t think anyone expected for it to be enough time to become a tight knit unit. By the time we went to our first dinner together at La Crêpe Dentelle, we were chattering away like we had all known each other for years instead of hours. By the time we started off on our long walk along the Seine and through Paris to get gelato after dinner, it was clear that we would all be very close for the rest of the experience. We all came from different walks of life and from very different parts of the US but while we were in Paris we all bonded so easily. From sharing stories about where we came from, to discussing the way we each pronounced certain words because of our various accents, learning about each other’s differences brought us closer that I think any of us expected.

I loved my group and the time we spent together, but the most striking relationship I created was with my host sister. I was in a really close family with two teenaged daughters. One of the girls, Oriane, was just about my age and we clicked the fastest. The first car ride was a bit awkward, but girlie interests are universal. Half way into the drive home, she silently took my sunglasses and handed me hers (we had similar taste) to try on. We stretched our necks to look in the rear-view mirror at the same time then looked at each other and smiled. I was still too nervous about my French to speak and the family had not yet realized that as little as I spoke I understood just about everything they said to me. So, we just smiled at each other and ate half of one of the baguettes my host father had purchased earlier in the drive. That night my other host sister was sleeping at a friend’s house so the rest of us went out to dinner. This was also a bit awkward, especially when a waitress, a bus-boy and eventually the bartender became involved in trying to figure out how to tell me what ‘champignons’ meant in English. Luckily the bartender knew, because the waitress was on her way to the kitchen to get one to show me. It was actually really funny and I will never forget ‘mushrooms’ again. After dinner, Oriane and I walked along the beach while her parents finished their coffee and paid the check. We had a nice chat about boys and school and shared a few laughs. I had already started to become comfortable with her.

We became closer and closer during the first two days and it eventually became a regular thing to sit up at night in her bed having girl talk. My favorite part of our girl talk was the French-English dictionary that we kept in the middle of us. Every time either of us would reach for the book, we’d both laugh. We each learned a lot of new vocabulary just from those conversations. The best girl talk episode was my last night at the house. We stayed up until 1AM talking like the best of friends and by that time, we were reaching for the dictionary less and less. The girls left early each morning to go to the boating school and when I was just about to go off to bed, I told her I was worried I wouldn’t wake up in time to tell her goodbye. She reassured me that I would and we said goodnight.

The next morning my other host sister Constance came into my room to give me a hug, but Oriane didn’t come. I rolled over in bed feeling terrible that I had not gotten to really say goodbye. When I actually got up though, on my suitcase was a sealed envelope with my name on it and instructions to read only when I got on the train. After saying my goodbyes to my host parents at the train station my eyes were damp but then I remembered the letter just after we pulled out of the station. As I read her letter I began to cry really hard. She wrote how much she had grown to care about me and that she would be waiting for me to come back. Every time I came across one of our inside jokes I would laugh through my teary eyes. After reading the letter I looked inside the envelope and inside was a picture of her and a pair of earrings that I had told her I liked a few days into the stay. I’ve never smiled so much while crying.

In only 10 days, I gained a priceless relationship that I took with me across an ocean. With Oriane I realized, despite language barriers, we are all so much alike. Sunglasses are sunglasses, earrings are earrings and teenagers are teenagers, no matter what language you say those words in. My experience with the Experiment is something that I would never give up and I am so thankful to have had it. When I came home, the big question from everyone was 'how was it?' For me the answer always came without thinking - life changing.